At the point that you stop learning, you are then unteachable!_Albert Einstein-
Sitting here today, I was feeling a tad down. I do know why but that’s the thing about us and our will’s.
We do the things we do not want to do, the things we will to do we don’t do
See I met a man almost two years ago, long story that I will go into another time but let’s just say, before I met him I was single for quite sometime.
Sure, I dated some but nothing serious as I was always focused on raising my daughter and I am her example (even if I wasn’t always the best example, at times). I knew God would bring someone in His timing, so it really wasn’t a thought for me and if it was, it was out of loneliness.
Boy, the enemy can come as an “angel of light,” for sure but we do have discernment but certain people (“spirits”) people can dull your senses, before you know it, you are not even operating in discernment anymore because you became de- sensitized.
My discernment was going off in all sorts of ways but I reasoned it away because of the trauma I was going through and I ignored it.
I know for a fact, if I was alone that day, which I wasn’t my friend was down visiting, things would have turned out much much differently.
As soon as he walked up to myself and my daughter’s table, I would have been cold shouldered and asked him to leave.
I mean not to be rude but when he approached our table with a dog (“which i later found out was another’s women’s”) I would have sent him in the other direction, I was in the restaurant part and he came clear across the bar with this dog. He asked me if I wanted to pet his dog.
“I asked him what his point was.”
My friend ended up talking to him and he followed us out to the beach to which I was not so happy.
Make a really long story short I finally chatted with him after several weeks of turning him down and thought to myself (“Darn it Vanessa you judged a book by it’s cover.”) I thought this guy was a real victim of a 21 year marriage in which he was very unhappy, she was very abusive and he stayed until his children were older so he could leave the abuse and start life over again.
He was in a brand new state after all.
He was highly intelligent, intellectual, had strengths were I had weaknesses, kind and always seemed like he had your back but wanted to be in love and say I love you, way to quick!
I was in the middle of a terrible situation, I had lost my home in Hurricane Irma and everything in it, prior to that I was care taking for my father whom had stage 4 cirrhosis of the liver and was nearly dead. He is healed today but that is for another time as well.
“He looked like the “Night and Shining Armor” Here to have your back anytime!
It took awhile “A fake engagement,” which I wasn’t ready to be engaged after 6 months but I figured if it didn’t work out I could give the ring back
“I don’t advice that, like ever!”
I must have been in a lot of trauma and very vulnerable because so much happened so quickly.
To summarize, I had many many traumas from my dad, to loosing my home, to being involved in a serious MVA, that left me disabled and having to live in a crazy circumstance until I could get back on my feet. We will also get into that another time.
During all of this he was right there, “It Appeared”
“Hehad your front, back and center.”
Between that and living in very unusual circumstances I was led to a study on Narcissism.
I would go sit at a church across the street from where I was staying, gas station parking lots and garages anywhere free and away from the house.
I have been studying it for 2 years now and while I can’t diagnose I can educate.
These people after spending a significant amount of time with them seem to drain you and you are left feeling out of sorts and confused.
That’s actually because they are so toxic and the more you are around them the more desensitized you become, making sense of things you shouldn’t and justifying things that are wrong but you can’t fathom another person to act as such so you justify sometime.
Praying to God that you are wrong but you aren’t wrong.
However, in their eyes you will always be wrong and they would have done nothing.
I will be writing a whole bunch more on this topic because it’s through this experience that I was freed from so much I discovered through studying.
You literally must detox when you stop seeing them and if you can enlighten others.