I give this Dr. his credit for saying that because and not in the most elite words he used but one of my most recent blogs was about this the other day.
Force creates resistance. Ask your child questions. If they aren’t doing so well in school ask them what they think is the problem and create autonomy.
By doing this you are allowing them to stay true to themselves the values you have set for your family and cultivating a relationship that doesn’t take being a friend to your child to have.
We are a parent first not a friend and it is our job to see them grow into healthy adults.
Now, of course their will be challenges. Especially in the teen years with them wanting to experience things and find their own identity. I have decided to raise my daughter with biblical values only.
Of course that is a challenge when she is in school and others don’t have the same values.
We can guide them and give the rest to God that they won’t fall to peer pressure but if they do love them anyway. Let them know their is no condemnation and talk to them about why they think they caved..
Most time it’s bullying or wanting to fit in, also they feel different because they don’t know that people make everything look good on the outside. They see mainly the good and they want to compete, especially with technology today.
This would be a great time if you were raised in any kind of dysfunction or abuse to explain to your children why you are so firm on what you believe and how you made it yourself through the tough times.
It is in my opinion that God created all man and women and that He loves my child more then I do. So, when I can’t control things I let go and trust God will watch over her.”Um, hard? Yes, very very hard.
However, in my life God already has time and time again shown me that He does watch over myself and my child and He is in control.
I find if you keep things honest with your children and explain to them through maybe your own experiences.
As I see this fruit myself in my daughter as she matures into a young lady. I do have my challenges but I am willing to role up my sleeves and dig in to help this generation even if it means exposing my own mistakes in life and using my abuse as a child as a tool to help them.
And…..Trust me one time, I was told that I was going to be a youth leader by a Pastor actually she required it. She knew a little something of something that I didn’t but do now. I’m telling you I fought it tooth and nail. “I was like no way am I going in there with them”
I finally did…
I’m glad I did but it really wasn’t until I was met face to face with my fear by care-taking for 8 children 9 including mine that I learned so much and my fear and then I was able to lead the youth.
I guess I didn’t believe in myself and God was trying to show me that I could trust myself and there is a reason why I didn’t trust myself but that is coming in a different blog.
I am a firm believer in age appropriate things to do but not everything can be monitored or controlled.
If you respond with a “because I said so” you are then controlling your child and they won’t tell you anything.
We must allow our children to see that we aren’t perfect and no parent is. We all had to grow up and learn and some of us are still doing that.
Trust me I been the parent to my own father for as long as I can remember.
As I mentioned the eight children nine with one being my own and a very trying time in their life and in a life of another, it taught me my needs and what I wanted and made me realize so much about myself and about children, that although challenging as heck because of the trial this family was enduring.
I learned I can love another child just like my own.
There is a famous saying: they may not remember what you said but they will remember how you made them feel.
Those children I consider a gift from God for the time being I had the privilege to care for them and I will always love them and remember them and vice versa because they will remember the love they felt.
I hope one day you stumble upon my blogs to the eight children that taught me so much about myself I will always love you and think of you